expectations: if you can’t beat ‘em.... find better ones
“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”
— Soren Kierkegaard
Hellllloooooo Practitioners,
I felt off. Ya know that feeling? Out of sorts, off-kilter, clunky. For a few days it was just annoying, mild discomfort. But after a while, I felt itchy, irritable, even a bit angry.
When I dug a little deeper, the pebble in my shoe was partly being “wired and tired”. Tired from several big weeks of work followed by several big weeks of family. Wired with work that still needed to be done and family events that were still happening. In other words, no quick fix and no easy way out.
Aaaannnnnnnddd… what kept turning up the volume was expectation. An expectation that any minute I was going to snap out of it. And then. I didn’t.
The expectation was the pressure cooker. It kept me stuck fighting what was. (And you know what Robert Svoboda says: “don’t pick a fight with reality”.)
So I did what I normally do when I'm not feeling up to snuff: Research.
A not-so-short google search and a few rabbit holes revealed a surprisingly polarized view of expectations. One side said: Expectations generate frustration, resentment, and stagnation.
The other side said: Expectations unleash inspiration, motivation, and momentum.
Hmmmm…
Like most things it’s not that black and white. Expectations are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. I would even make the argument that you never live without them, there are always at least a few hovering beneath the surface.
So the question becomes... which ones? Which expectations are running? (Or running you?) I would add... are they based on internal or external standards? Because that might be what makes the expectation motivating or frustrating.
If expectation is based on something external (outside of you and your control) it's like you've given someone else the target (whether this is your spouse, your child, an authority figure, or society) and they can walk off with it, bury it in the ground, or turn it upside down.
Expectations based on internal standards are like a compass, they move you in a positive direction no matter how intermittent your progress or how often your course-correction.
When you look at it this way, expectations are indications. They tell you when you’re aligned inside. Discontent is often a nudge to shift your stance, adjust your aim, or alter your target. There are 2 events on the horizon to evolve your expectations and calibrate your inner compass.
This Sunday at Padma Studio there is a master class to adjust your expectations of extension (aka backbends). This class will teach length and strength. Not bend and hinge. You'll get clear and confident on how and where to aim with backbends for your body.
Later in July, there is a class series - Calibrate Your Inner Compass - co-taught with Health Coach Cass Garvin. Learn about the Wellness Continuum and how to calibrate your intentions and actions for wellness, not neutrality, and thriving, not surviving. Learn more and register here. (If you’re a Member, you’ll be registered automatically!)
May your practice ground you in reality,
Alison
